My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
two words: eviction party
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
