I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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