sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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