I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
