Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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