Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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