so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
