So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
