Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
