Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
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