I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
