How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
