this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize