I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My ass is underappreciated
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
