I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
