I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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