I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize