chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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