I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
