if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
