Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize