All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
