1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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