could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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