also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
