Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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