Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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