the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
