I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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