You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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