i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
