dude i'm inner monologue high
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
