Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize