i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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