She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
