i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
