Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
