Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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