i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
