She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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