Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
