Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
