When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
