You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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