My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
