wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
