Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
