he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
