ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
