So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
you had me at cake vodka
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
