Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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