NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
