He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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