Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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