im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
