I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
