I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
false alarm, still single
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
