whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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